“The fridge is always full, my clothes are clean and my children have love, attention and listening. What can I be blamed for? Alexandra often asks herself the question. This 41-year-old mother regularly faces criticism. It is in Plouguiel (22) that she and her husband raise their children: the small tenth will point the tip of the nose in September. “After each delivery, you tell yourself it’s the last one … And after a while you realize that something is missing. “
Large family = square organization!
This is what the couple, from Sarthe, felt after the birth of their two first children, who are over 20 years old, after Laura (18), Ethan (15), Tyler (13), Aedhan (9 years), Kathlyne (7 years old) ). , Juhne (4 years) and Daegan (18 months).
Between her pregnancies, Alexandra Messager worked often. Sir, you work for Émeraude ID, in Lannion (22). “We live like everyone else, but with more organization. People think that a large family is synonymous with letting go. On the contrary, it is square! “
We take on our choice of life
Are the Messengers Catholic? No more than neighbors and not practicing. “Our choice of life has nothing to do with religion,” smiles her mother. The other question that “constantly arises”, we give it to you in a thousand, “is that of allowances”. “That’s not what we support children with.” The question that tops the list, says Alexandra, is even more intimate: “Is it the same dad for everyone? “She felt this until her motherhood.
Individuality in the collective
With Franck, they met when Alexandra was 17. “We had our first child when I was 18 and we’ve been through all the hardships ever since, she testifies. We assume our choice of life, we owe nothing to anyone. “An XXL life, which does not prevent us from“ paying attention to each other ”:“ Everyone knows that they are there. When there is a need, we isolate ourselves and discuss. »Moments of individuality in an everyday life made up of« collective and reciprocal help ».
The race starts at 6 in the morning
In the morning, Alexandra gets up between 5:30 and 6:00. After the indisputable coffee in bed brought by her husband, the race begins. The little ones breastfeed with a bottle, the mother tidies up, the older ones get up, have breakfast, have morning cuddles, get dressed, “then they end up waking up in peace”. Go to kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school. In the car with mom, or by bus. The big is taken to work, waiting to pass the license. Cleaning, tidying up, laundry … Lazy mornings, of course, Alexandra “doesn’t know”.
Evenings are busy but my husband helps a lot
The outfits are prepared on Sunday evening throughout the week, the races are calibrated in family size. “Baby food, cleaning products, meat, milk and food for animals (even many)”, are purchased at the beginning of the month. “Meat, vegetables and fresh”, weekly. A budget of 700 euros on average per month, not counting the extras. The biggest expense is fuel oil: 500 euros every two months for their large, not very isolated house.
One for all all for one
In the afternoon, when Daegan takes a nap, Alexandra is ironing, tidying up, vacuuming. And he allows himself a moment of respite between the papers to be filled in and the appointments to be made. 4:00 pm comes quickly. Snacks, judo, football, homework – “each in turn, to report difficulties” -, showers, sleepovers, games, meals, sleep. “The evenings are busy but my husband helps a lot.” And adults get their hands dirty. “There is great solidarity between them, if someone has a problem, everyone is behind, she explains, a little touched. Is strong. We won’t always be there, they will need each other. One of the boys, who suffers from a form of disability, can count on the support of older children. “I teach them not to judge and to accept everyone. To cultivate the open-mindedness that is often lacking around her.