Chloé * is the mother of 3 children: a 12-year-old boy and 4-year-old twins. While the arrival of her first child went smoothly, her twins are the result of a long journey.
“My pregnancy took place in 2009. It didn’t take long: a few weeks after the first attempts, I got pregnant. Everything went pretty well for the next nine months.
Then, like many moms, I intend to wait a little over two years before conceiving a new baby. I wish they were three years away. But I got pregnant a little earlier, without knowing it. I think I have my period when I start bleeding. I feel severe pain in my lower abdomen. Impossible to walk! My husband said “I’ll take you to the hospital” and I, convinced it was my period, refused, before giving in.
Once in the ER, they took a blood test. Shortly thereafter, she discovered that she was pregnant. It has only been two weeks since I got back to work (I had stopped to take care of my son). This is definitely not the time to start a new pregnancy. I was given an ultrasound and that’s when the staff started taking turns: they all called a superior! I understand that something is wrong. Eventually they tell me that they have to operate right away, because one of my fallopian tubes has burst and that the fetus is in the wrong place. At the moment, I don’t realize it. They quickly take me to the operating room. When I wake up, my tube has been removed. I’m not particularly impressed, because then I’m not on a children’s project. I know I want to be a mom again, but not until next year. Fortunately, I also welcome the news because due to lack of space in the hospital I find myself in a shared room with a woman who is about to give birth. Considering what just happened, I could have really hurt.
Although I have only one trunk left, I still have the possibility of having a child. A year later, I am trying to conceive a baby. I quickly learn that I am pregnant thanks to a pregnancy test. Fear is immediately added to the joy of this news: what if I have an ectopic pregnancy again? I run to the ER, where they send me back, telling me to go for a blood test, to check my HCG level. We then find that it is not increasing as it should. I am fine having a second ectopic pregnancy. It ended with an injection. It’s hard, but all is not lost, I don’t feel sorry for myself. My son’s father supports me.
… then a miscarriage.
My wish for a baby is intact. Soon after, I try to get pregnant again. That works ! This time, the embryo is well positioned. But, at 2 and a half months pregnant, I am bleeding. I urgently consult my gynecologist who performs an ultrasound. I feel the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. He tells me to go home and rest. That same evening I go to the bathroom and discover an embryo in toilet paper, after urinating. It is no bigger than a grape, but I understand it because I can clearly see the fetus inside. I don’t have the courage to throw it in the toilet. I wrap it up and put it in the hallway, asking my wife to do the necessary while I get some fresh air.
I lose my second tube
After a while, I persevere. We want this baby! I get pregnant, but again it’s an ectopic pregnancy. It is the third. However, they don’t consider my case an emergency and let me spend the night like that. The next day, at 1 pm, I have not yet been operated on. I ask when I will be repeatedly transferred to the block. I’ve been told there are other emergencies before me. I am very afraid, I tell them that I already have a log that has burst, nothing helps. I decide to get dressed and tell them that I want to go to another hospital, where they will really take care of me. The medical team tries to hold me back, I ask them for a waiver to sign. Eventually, seeing that I am losing my temper, they lead me to the block. My second fallopian tube will most likely need to be removed, as it is heavily damaged by these last few pregnancies. I don’t take it badly, it’s also a relief. And for good reason, during my first ectopic pregnancy, I was told “within 1 hour, go there”. There, I am being treated, my life is not in danger. I really want another child, but I’m also very afraid of getting pregnant, having an ectopic pregnancy and dying when I have a baby who is counting on me.
I am 25 years old and I can no longer have a child of course
Now I know that I will no longer be able to get pregnant naturally. It makes me strange to think that what seems to be the most natural thing for a woman, I, at only 25, will not take it anymore. However, I relativize a lot, I tell myself that I still have a chance thanks to in vitro fertilization (In Vitro Fertilization). In France, we have good support. So I call a hospital to start the trial a few months later. I am lucky, there is a pickup and I have an appointment quickly. So I started the obstacle course: that of in vitro fertilization. Unfortunately, the first attempt was unsuccessful. I am disappointed because not having a fertility problem, I was given the hope that it would take quickly and it doesn’t.
Pregnancies are linked around me, sometimes it is difficult to live. For my part, my whole life is organized on the basis of my appointments, my shots, I can’t plan anything, not even the holidays “just in case”. It’s still more difficult to live with than extrauterine pregnancies.
I chain punctures and implants. The seventh embryo transfer is once again a failure. Then I changed my treatment and decided to lose weight at the same time. I try very hard. It is not easy, the previous hormonal treatments have made me gain many kilos, but the result pays off: – 18 kilos on the scale.
The eighth plant arrives. I know it will be the last attempt, because the embryos come from the last in vitro fertilization, the fourth, which can be cured. I say to myself “Let’s try, we’ll see”, I don’t want to say to myself “this time is the right time” to avoid any disappointment and the pain that comes with it. Shortly thereafter, she discovers she is pregnant. I am 30 years old and I will go back to being a mother … of twins! I’ll never know if my weight loss combined with a new hormone treatment has anything to do with it, but it is, it works!
The pregnancy is going well and my children arrive healthy. A year after their birth, I am asked what I want to do with the remaining embryo. With the father of my children, we choose to donate it to science and not to a couple. The fear that the child is born into a bad family guides our choice. Today I have three boys and I don’t want to have any more children. And then you have to see the positive side of things: I no longer need contraception! Liberation! (laughs)
* the name was changed at the request of the mother
- Testimony “I gave birth twice in the same year”
- Testimony: “Since childbirth I can no longer walk”